Her beauty lies—in more ways than one—just outside her glance
It whispers softly of mediocrity via her ear, straight to her heart
Trying so hard to protect her from the corruption of its curse
Muting what should be so loud to her own eyes

It hides from her

 Her full, flowing hair… it’s filled with it
It spreads itself entirely, coating her smooth, flawless skin
It reflects deeply from within her penetrating brown eyes
Only to hint softly along the curves of her delicately colored lips

 Boastfully, it explodes from within… where all is safe
She touches hearts without making contact
Spreads smiles like they were contagious
All from beneath her skin, which is no different in beauty from her exterior.

His thoughts—louder than any alarm—start his day
Existing in gaps like a vacant game of connect-the-dots
Completion; they beg for it, plead for it… scream for it!
Threatening mutiny… pushing sanity down the plank

His eyes, useless without the mind to interpret for them
His ears, only able to hear… a far cry from being able to listen
His nose, in crisis, sheds all responsibility but life support
And his body—overwhelmed by his collapsing mind— goes numb

 He hits the floor, his mind—overrun by betrayal—loses control
Taking the figurative for literal, it gives way to the power of the sea
His lungs fill to capacity with thoughts of water
Peace restores as the last few bubbles of air escape his body

How weak you’ve become…
Here I am telling you and you still can’t see it
You’ve been overrun by power
Sucked dry… deemed useless…
Not even worthy of an honorable death

I laugh as you live for the sole purpose of not dying
Can’t you hear how silly that sounds?
I’d be insulting a child by calling you a child
And a buffoon by calling you a buffoon
You see the pattern going on here, right?

You’ve built an impenetrable fortress full of holes
Barricaded yourself from the world and lost touch with it
The only reality about your reality is that it’s real
Other than that it’s the marriage of a fairytale and a folly
Paranoia is your princess; mistrust your inescapable palace

You’re kept around for the amusement of others
A learning device… a live example of don’ts
Yet I envy you for your blissful unawareness
Deeply compacted denial that’s decayed over time
Absolute power that corrupted… absolutely.

She is a natural disaster, a storm of sorts
In the center she is calm, peaceful, even beautiful
But to get to that point you must weather her thunderous whining
Avoid her deadly strikes, and stand firm as she changes like violent wind

 She has claimed many lives, and ruined many more
Others discount her behavior as an act of God
What reason does that give her to stop?
With her conscious clear she is free to feed and grow

 She takes on new names each season
She makes herself an untouchable legend
Thus shedding herself of a heart
Her destruction classified as nature

 No one does a thing to stop her
She is seen as just part of a weather pattern
We are left to do what makes us human, adapt
Just pick up and rebuild until she comes again…

She—striving to be complete—reached for me
What was once mutually beneficial is now parasitic

I have been marked cruel casting her out
A double standard, considering she would be the death of me

Somewhere along the line she stopped loving me
Starting instead, to love the idea of me

She inhaled my words like oxygen
Vital to her everyday function, unfathomable to be without

I could do no wrong as long as I was bound by her obsession
My freedom halted while she pretended to be free

They say I killed her—stopped her from breathing
But it was her that was asphyxiating me.

 (Written from someone else’s experience, not mine.)

I slowly lose grip as I am consumed by thoughts of you

Dangling from the edge of my own pride

I must now pull down yours to keep from falling

Self-preservation corrupts your image in my eyes

I turn you quickly from a friend to a goal

Slicing blindly through all the costs of my own actions

I must have you… to myself or for myself

The difference I no longer know

But that is unimportant now.

A cold wind passes over my body

Rapidly numbing in a figurative and literal sense

My strength is gone,  physically… mentally…

I cannot move, nor would I if I were able

Enough left in me to keep my eyes open

Staring above… waiting as it falls

A disturbing requiem of laughter sets the mood

As I wonder if its weight is enough to end my existance

What I have been mistaking for an easy way out

Is now clearly an inevitable test of strength

For if I do not survive… I never deserved to.

Sight long since faded to monochrome
Staring out into a sea of the same
Cursed with only hearing the dull hum of the ocean

From a distance a beautiful symphony
Rushing to the senses, overpowering subtle hums
Commanding a standing ovation before her song even ends

I’ll gladly stand and clap amongst the silent crowd
Failing to take notice that they’ve been alive all this time
Even I, once guilty of the very same offense

She appears before me in vivid color
My eyes barely able to handle the sight
Different, the only thought I could register

As my eyes adjusted, like a fog had cleared
An overwhelming surge of thoughts, not yet translated to words
I dare not utter beautiful as an adjective.

Once thought to be symbiotic

Once thought to be at equilibrium in your presence

I now find myself in a weakened state

Unable to measure all that you’ve taken from me

Your smile shines brighter as mine slowly sinks

Becoming one hundred and eighty degrees

Steadily turning downward still

 Ignorant bliss overwrites logic in past memories

But I have since recovered the truth

 Used and knew it all along

To the point where it sickens me to see who I was

And even still who I am, knowing I will never change

It’s happened before… and it will happen again

They will NEVER be different as long as I am the same.

I inhale this new morning
Expecting fresh pollen to set off sneezes
Expecting sneezes to trigger a headache
Expecting this headache to spark a storm of bitterness

Not this morning…
Her smell still lingers in my nostrils
Like a needle to a record her voice plays in my head
My mind rises above the dark clouds that were sure to be today

A gentle creak could be heard as I slowly begin to smile
My lips part, little by little, exposing my teeth
Could it be? Could this be a grin?
Something I haven’t done is so long… it almost hurts

Another sense kicks in
As I close my eyes her face appears
Her eyes are bright as today’s new sun
Her skin perfect as the flawless blue sky

Why can’t everyday be just like today?
Not even more that a few minutes in
I’ve smiled more that I have in such a long time
I pray she keeps me smiling at least for the rest of the day.